Epiphany

I don’t know how many of you have played “The Sims”.  For those of you who haven’t humor me for a moment… In the game you choose a “Life Wish” for your Sim.  This “Life Wish” is their life-long goal.  It can be anything from reaching the top of the music career, to raising a family.  Once the Sim reaches their life-long wish that is it.  You just continue to play the game and have them go and do but to what end?  They’ve completed their goal.

I feel like I identify a bit with those Sims.  My life-long goal as a child was to 1) grow up. 2) Get married to my dream man (who I made a long, long list about), and 3) have children to raise and love.  So umm… I’m all grown up. I’m married and I have two beautiful children who I love dearly and continually work hard to raise.

Other such goals – stay with me here – were simple like “Own a nice house” or “buy that car I always wanted (a nice Toyota)”.  After moving once a year for seven years I have wanted to settle down somewhere in a house I enjoy that *I* pick out with a nice car that I enjoy and *I* pick out.  Other desires? Other than more materialistic desires that was about it. Until today.

I had an epiphany.  Where is the Lord?  Why did I want to grow up? So I could get married of course.  Why did I want to get married?  Well because I didn’t want to be alone and I wanted babies and every good Christian knows you have to get married to make babies!  Why did I want children? I don’t know.  As a kid it was this burning desire in my heart that stuck with me.  These goals were truly all I ever wanted out of life.  But where was God in all that.  Sure it started out with me as a child so I naturally wouldn’t consider God because hey, I’m just a kid!  But what about now?

So I got to thinking about that song…  Its an old church song that no one ever sings anymore except for maybe in the nice southern churches where they still sing the old hymns.  It’s about less of self and more of thee.  What’s it called? “None of Self and all of Thee’

1. Oh, the bitter pain and sorrow
   That a time could ever be,
   When I proudly said to Jesus,
   “All of self, and none of Thee.”
   All of self, and none of Thee,
   All of self, and none of Thee,
   When I proudly said to Jesus,
   “All of self, and none of Thee.”
2. Yet He found me; I beheld Him
   Bleeding on th’ accursed tree,
   And my wistful heart said faintly,
   “Some of self, and some of Thee.”
   Some of self, and some of Thee,
   Some of self, and some of Thee,
   And my wistful heart said faintly,
   “Some of self, and some of Thee.”
3. Day by day His tender mercy,
   Healing, helping, full and free,
   Brought me lower while I whispered,
   “Less of self, and more of Thee.”
   Less of self, and more of Thee,
   Less of self, and more or Thee,
   Brought me lower while I whispered,
   “Less of self, and more of Thee.”
4. Higher than the highest heaven,
   Deeper than the deepest sea,
   Lord, Thy love at last has conquered:
   “None of self, and all of Thee.”
   None of self, and all of Thee,
   None of self, and all of Thee,
   Lord, Thy love at last has conquered:
   “None of self, and all of Thee.”

 

So I realized.  For the past 28 years I have been living my life unintentionally for myself.  I wanted to get married. I wanted children.  Did I consult God on His will for my life?  Of course I believe God’s will was still done as I am a firm believer that God is in control of it all.  After all, I look back at my life and see His fingerprints everywhere.  I met my husband online and Presten wasn’t the first guy I met on there either.  I wanted to wait FIVE YEARS to have children, hoping to enjoy some married time before having kids.  When did I get pregnant? FIVE MONTHS! NO I do NOT believe that was coincidence. It was God doing His will over mine.

So now what? As a “Sim” I have fulfilled my life-long goal: to get married and have children.  Some might say, “Well, Duh, now you raise those children.”  Yes, of course.  I intended to.  I want to.  I love my kids and they are more than just a goal to me.  But what is my goal now?  What am I striving for?

I’m not sure how others feel about life goals but I believe it is important to have a goal – something you are striving for.  Be it to better yourself spiritually.  Or maybe to write the perfect novel.  Who knows?  But isn’t a life without a goal just a meandering, winding path leading nowhere?

So then part of me says, “Isn’t Heaven the goal?” Well yes, ultimately.  But what is my purpose here now?  Other than to raise my wonderful children why do I wake up in the morning?  Okay I know some of you are like, “Do you need any other reason?”  Forgive me if I sound negative or whatever but yes, I do.

My children are my sunshine.  They brighten each day.  Every kiss from them is pocketed away for the day when their kisses aren’t as freely given.  Every embrace is held tighter knowing that I do not know their fate.  Every time we have tickle time – their favorite game – I cherish those moments.  They are the “little wonders” of life that I will sit and think about in my old age.  My children are not only my “job” (as I stay home to raise them) but until today they were the reason I rose from my bed.  They are the reason I do the laundry – so they can be clothed.  They are why I cook and clean – to create a home for them.

But now I find myself wondering does God want me to do more than just raise my children.  And I do not mean just raise my children.  I mean, is their more to His plan for me?  What does He mean for me to be doing? 

Maybe I’m over thinking it.  But one thing I know for sure: I am done with being selfish and self centered in my goals.  What is a nice house or a nice car if I am not serving the Lord to my fullest capacity?  What is a beautiful life from the outside if on the inside it is devoid of God’s glory and purpose?

So now I intend to meditate and pray on what God’s will for my life is. I can be a mom and do the Lord’s work at the same time, you know.  Not to say that being a mom is not the Lord’s work. Man I hope I’m getting through here and not stepping on fellow stay at home mommas’ toes!!

Being a mom is a special calling and for some – maybe many or most – it is all the calling they need.  But for me I feel like God is pulling me to do something in addition to raising my children.  I just cannot figure out what that something is.  Whatever it is, I will involve my children as much as possible so they can help me serve the Lord in that capacity.

Questions, Comments and Curse words are welcome… well maybe the curse words arent welcome but I’ll take them any way!

Super Mama Maggie

Here I am, Yet Again!!

So I often find myself having highs of happy moments where the whole world seems right and lows where I feel so down and frustrated.  I know that whether a person is bi-polar or not, everyone experiences these highs and lows. The fact of the matter is that there is always some good things going on in life and there are always some bad things going on. 

Examples

High: I have two amazing kids who I love and adore and am so grateful I have.
Low: Even so there are days that parenting them is so difficult.  It doesn’t negate my feelings for them however it does make the situation difficult and sometimes depressing.

High: I have this amazing dog, Mortimer, who I love, cherish and adore. He is my “first born” as I got him right before we found out I was pregnant with Cassie. 
Low: But he is with a “friend” who kindly took care of him while I was in the hospital.  Now I am uncertain of if I will ever see him again because she seems unwilling to give him back.

High: My husband is working for himself now, choosing what he wants to do and what he doesn’t want to do, directing his own clinic as he sees fit.
Low: Money is a bit tight as we work hard to build his business. It can lead to frustration as we deal with situations that arise where the only solution is more money!

I could go on and on.  But the fact is that there is an up side and a down side to a lot of things.  But what then should we focus on??  Obviously the up side, right?  But how do we do that?? Sometimes it is so easy to see the bad side of things and forget that silver lining.

I have learned (and am doing my best to put into practice) that prayer is a powerful thing in this matter.  Case in point, we have been praying every night for our daughters and their temperament, their future, their lives and just everything about them!  Since we started, Serenity has become so much easier to handle (PRAISE GOD!!!) and has had less rough days and more good days.

As for our amazing dog Mortimer, we have prayed hard for health and healing and as I understand it he is healthier and doing better.  Now we just have to pray we get him back someday soon from our reluctant friend.

Presten’s job is going well and we have prayed every night that it will blossom and grow so that he can help people get well. As we have prayed his contacts have exploded and he has more new patients each week.  He has been asked to be a part of several events which will yield more patients he can help.

So each time I feel frustrated, concerned, afraid or aggravated about an otherwise good situation I pray about it and look desperately for that silver lining.

My mother is a professional at finding the silver lining.  She can find the silver lining about almost anything.  Raining? Well the flowers needed it.  Waiting in line? Well I needed to grow some more patience.  Had a rough day at work? Well at least I will get good sleep tonight!  I love her and am glad she has it down but I have not inherited that trait.

I find it just as hard to love difficult people as well.  When someone is frustrating to know I just want to write them off and not always nicely.  I have had to learn to be prayerful here.  Oh and to learn some TACT…  Something else I did not inherit from my mom that she has an overabundance of!

So I guess my whole point is when you cannot see the silver lining and life is tough just look up and say, “Okay, God. I cannot see it but I know it is there.” and prayerfully go forward.  I know not everything has an easy-to-see silver lining; some might even say that there are events that have no silver lining.

To that I disagree.  Well maybe there are things that do not have a silver lining but they do have a purpose.  I am a deep believer that everything has a purpose!  Maybe your dog got hit by a car because it was either your dog or that kid three blocks down that would have run out in front of the same car!

There was one day my mom could not find her keys.  We looked EVERYWHERE!! Then when we found them, in some easy to see place, she laughed and said, “Well I’m sure God had a purpose for this.” as we were very late to school. Sure enough as we pulled toward the narrow bridge on our way to school we saw a half a house driving down the bridge, barely squeezing through with no room on either side for a car.  The bridge was long and perhaps, just maybe, we could have been caught on that bridge unknowingly and been hit by a traveling house! How funny and sad would that have been? A little too “Wizard of Oz” for me! haha

Any way!!  I hope this all makes sense.  It came out of my friend seeming to say we wouldn’t be seeing our dog again.  It made me feel upset and depressed and I wanted to write about the good side of the situation and how life does really have an up side when things seem down.  So cheer up!  Whatever has got you down either has a good side or it has a purpose.  Either way, stop and pray, because God loves you and is there for you through it all.

I praise you, God, for your abundant love and ever-presence.  I thank you for all the gifts you give and I respect you for all the things you take away.  I trust you, God, to do your will, looking out for my best interest.  I know you have a plan for my life and are always doing what is best for me now and in the future.  Thank you for all the blessings that surround me. Much Love. IJNA

God bless y’all!
Super Momma Maggie

Mantra: I am a good mommy!!

Today was a particularly rough day. Serenity (who was aptly named as a baby) really misbehaved a lot at school today. She hit and kicked and stuck her tongue out at the teacher. She was just a terror – though not as bad as she has been in the past. She didn’t scream or yell horrible things at them like she used to do to me.

Her misbehavior made me feel like a bad mother.  What am *I* doing wrong that she would behave this way?  What could I do differently?  What is wrong with me?  These were questions that ran through my mind as I sat and cried.  I felt so horribly lost. 

We have tried to many things.  Each time we tried something new we were very consistent and did exactly the same thing for several months to no avail.  Finally, when she was 3.5 we sent her to daycare. I just couldn’t deal with her misbehavior any longer.  It was making me feel so miserable and depressed. But did sending her away make me a bad mom?

Before then I had mixed views on mothers who put their kids in daycare when they could stay home with them.  How could they let someone else raise their child?  How could they allow someone else to decide who their child would be and form them into that person?  How could they!?

Its funny how we view other peoples shoes when we’ve never once worn them ourselves.  I guess it’s the whole plank in my eye, speck in yours thing. (Remove the “plank” from your own eye before you pick the “speck” from your friends eye.)  Now I know.  Now I understand that there are very valid reasons for putting your child in daycare.  Please forgive me all you daycare-using parents out there.  I meant no harm!!

I wont list the reasons for putting your child in daycare.  That’s not what this is about.  Its about how difficult it is to be a mom.  But in my humble opinion unless you are actively harming your child you are a good parent.  Any parent doing their best is a good parent. Not perfect.  Not the best parent in the world, maybe, but a good parent.  I will not allow my child’s behavior to make me feel like a bad mom.  I may not be perfect – I know I am so very far from it – but I do work hard to be my best.

Sure I may need to readjust some things.  But Life truly is like a box of chocolates: some of days are yummy and tasty and others are just plain gross!  But you enjoy the yummy ones and cherish them with all your heart.  The bad days you just throw out and forget, learning from them what you can.  That is what I am doing with today: learning that I am a good mama even on bad days, and throwing this day away like a bad banana!

So I leave you today with these thoughts: consider how other peoples shoes might feel before you judge how those shoes look.  And you are a good parent, despite your child’s behavior, if you are doing your absolute best.

Lots of Love,
Super Mama Maggie

Bible Verse:

Psalms 112

¹ Praise the LORD.

   Blessed is the man who fears the LORD,
   who finds great delight in his commands.

² His children will be mighty in the land;
   the generation of the upright will be blessed.
³ Wealth and riches are in his house,
   and his righteousness endures forever.
⁴ Even in darkness light dawns for the upright,
   for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.
⁵ Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely,
   who conducts his affairs with justice.
⁶ Surely he will never be shaken;
   a righteous man will be remembered forever.
⁷ He will have no fear of bad news;
   his heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
⁸ His heart is secure, he will have no fear;
   in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.
⁹ He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor,
   his righteousness endures forever;
   his horn will be lifted high in honor.

¹⁰ The wicked man will see and be vexed,
   he will gnash his teeth and waste away;
   the longings of the wicked will come to nothing.

Faith vs. Trust: Are they the same?

I thought I had faith in God. I thought I believed in his ability and his desire to help me. Psalms 91:14 says, “Because he loves me, says the Lord, I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. 15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. 16 With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

This verse says many promises. God promises to: 1) rescue me, 2) protect me because I acknowledge His name, 3) answer me when I call upon Him, 4) be with me in trouble, 5) deliver me from trouble, 6) honor me, 7) satisfy me with long life, 8) show me His salvation. That is a lot of promises! Yet sometimes I find myself disbelieving in Gods follow through.

It is not that I do not believe He is capable. “Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us.” (Eph. 3:20) I know in my heart that God is capable of so much more than I could ever need or want. So why do I not trust Him?

Trust is defined as: 1) reliance on the integrity, strength, and ability of a person or thing; confidence, 2) confident expectation of something; hope

Faith is defined as: belief that is not based on proof. “Faith is being sure of what we hope for and the certainty of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

So are they really the same thing? It would appear they are. To me, faith is not the absence of fear, but the courage to press on during hardships and still believe in God and His providence. It is believing that God will work things out. But if you believe someone will do something doesn’t that mean you also trust they will follow through?

So all my prayers for faith have yielded many trials: Two deaths in the family, A huge move from a haven I loved and enjoyed to a place I would never have thought to call home, A complete mental breakdown and the repercussions thereof, The rebuilding of my life since then, The consistent and ever-presence of Satan in my mind and in my life (yes I have rebuked the Devil; he still prevails). All these things have continually built my faith stronger and stronger. But still I lack the trust that God will truly follow through on all those promises listed above.

Will he really rescue me when I call for Him? Has he rescued me from Satan’s snare? Will he truly be with me during my troubles and protect me from trouble? I must say that I don’t trust that he will when I look at my most recent past. Trouble has followed me everywhere I go.

I feel alone and afraid. I feel deserted by God. Where is He? If He promises to rescue me then where is He? If he promises to protect me then why does Satan persist? Why do I continue to undergo trials and struggles?

The answer lies in my request: faith. As I said in a recent post: faith is not given freely, it is built through trials. I also cited a great verse in Corinthians that talked about how we are often put through trials not only so that we can feel the comfort and love of God but so that we may also show the comfort and love of God to others. So perhaps, just maybe, my trails exist to help someone.

I have recently taken up writing in hopes of publishing some books. One book I am writing talks about my struggles in life and how I have dealt with them. Many of my trials are not know by most of the people who know me, except those closest to me. My life has not been easy by any means. It has been one trial after another. But one theme has remained: God.

As I look back at my past I see His hand in every situation. One situation that I would like to share is a car accident I had when I was 17. At the time I was very uncertain as to why it had happened to me. It was a traumatic experience for me at such a young age. I was nearly killed because I ran into a telephone pole going quite fast; I never hit the brakes to even slow down because I was in shock.

Now, more than 10 years later, I fully understand the purpose of that accident. At the time, before my accident, my sister and I were at odds with each other. I didn’t like her much and she didn’t care for me either. We had so little in common and failed to even try to have a relationship.

When I was discharged from the hospital it was my sister who picked me up. I was starving after having been on a liquid only diet for several days. We got a roast beef sandwich in the cafeteria. That was the beginning of a beautiful relationship that flourished into a friendship I will forever cherish.

My sister died on October 30^th several years ago. Were it not for that car accident I feel certain that we would have never overcome our differences and become such close friends. Sure we still had those differences, but we agreed to disagree and moved on, building a relationship around what we did have in common. I praise God for that car accident.

I have many such stories in my life. Times in which I suffered but now see the purpose, or at least know there was a purpose. So why do I still struggle with trust and faith in God? Perhaps it is because these trials never end. But that is part of the human life. Some might say God is cruel because He puts us through so many trials and struggles. But do non-Christians live lives of luxury and have no struggles or trials. Look at the news. Many people who are famous and do not profess to be Christians struggle every day with trials: drug overdoses and divorce to name a few.

So it is not God who is cruel. It is the choice Adam and Eve made many, many years ago. Life: a beautiful life with God by our side, walking with us in a Heavenly garden, or Death: physical death, physical and psychological pain and strife. They chose death, knowingly or not.

So we suffer. I suffer. It is a fact of life. One I must accept before I can truly trust and have faith in God. Do you accept the reality of the struggles of life and have faith in God, trusting He will follow through on his many promises to us? I am working on it daily.

Do I surrender ALL?

I think sometimes that I have surrendered all I am and all I have to God.  Perhaps I even sing that old hymn “I surrender all” with feeling and honesty.  Then the Lord takes something away – like the unexpected death of a beloved family member.  Or perhaps it is the loss of a job, only to find a new one in a place I would never choose to move to.  Then I realize perhaps this is the true surrender: to find peace when God moves in mysterious yet uncomfortable ways.

There is this awesome song called “Strong Enough”.  Here are the basic lyrics (minus repetition).

You must think I’m strong to give me what I’m going through. Well, forgive me if I’m wrong, but this looks like more than I can do on my own.

I know I’m not strong enough to be everything that I’m supposed to be. I give up; I’m not strong enough.  Hands of mercy won’t you cover me. Lord, right now I’m asking you to be strong enough for the both of us.

Well, maybe that’s the point – to reach the point of giving up – because when I’m finally at rock bottom, well, that’s when I start looking up and reaching out.

Because I’m broken down to nothing but I’m still holding on to one thing: You are God and you are strong when I am weak.

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” I don’t have to be strong enough.

I know I’m not strong enough to be everything that I’m supposed to be. I give up; I’m not strong enough. Hands of mercy won’t you cover me. Lord, right now I’m asking you to be strong enough for the both of us.

Some might say I had a “bi-polar episode” or perhaps a “nervous breakdown”.  I call it “the time Mommy went totally crazy and was glad the kiddos weren’t there to witness it all.”  Never in my life had I been so out of control – forced to surrender to God.  As a “good Christian girl” I had never done drugs or gotten so drunk I was out of control. But that night the combination of lack of sleep, lack of consistent nourishment and little to no water intake, plus the sleeping pills I took — along with the tequila I drank to hopefully make me sleep (how is that for being candid?) made me more than a little loopy and completely out of control. (Yes I know, looking back, the whole thing was stupid.) The doctors said that the lack of sleep and lack of nutritious food were the larger culprits and that this breakdown was bound to happen at some point.  I was so glad to be with someone I trusted completely that night.  Anything was possible.  Tequila is bad.  Don’t ever drink it!

Now here I am living next door to my in-laws, a situation that would likely put many people more at risk of a breakdown but this time it is a blessing.  At first I wondered if they were just getting a son and grandkids and I was part of the package. But they have proved to me with their complete acceptance, love, compassion and generosity that they truly do care about me.

Even so.  My husband has no salaried job (again), and has opened up practice for himself – which is good but makes me feel insecure.  Sure we are blessed with plenty of clothing, food on the table and a roof over our head, not to mention all our crucial bills paid.  But I still feel uneasy and anxious if I do not keep reminding myself to continually surrender, especially when the anxiety creeps in and the fears start to ramble through my inner dialogue.

So I am left again with my need to surrender all to Christ.  I love the song “Great is thy faithfulness.”  I rewrote it with more modern language.

Great is your faithfulness, oh God my father.
There is no shadow of turning with you.
You never change, and your compassion never fails me.
As you have been, you will always be.

Great is your faithfulness,
Great is your faithfulness.
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed your hand has provided.
Great is your faithfulness, Lord, unto me.

Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun. Moon and Stars in their courses above,
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To your great faithfulness, mercy and love.

Great is your faithfulness,
Great is your faithfulness.
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed your hand has provided.
Great is your faithfulness, Lord, unto me.

Pardon for sin and a peace that endure.
Your own dear presence to cheer and to guide.
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.
Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside.

Great is your faithfulness,
Great is your faithfulness.
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed your hand has provided.
Great is your faithfulness, Lord, unto me.

This song brings me so much peace.  God is faithful.  Each day brings new mercies – new challenges that are overcome quickly by God’s doing.  All I have God has provided.  He has pardoned me from my sins, strengthening me each day to face every challenge. And I know every night as I lay my head on my pillow that He will still be there tomorrow to do it all over again!  What a blessing!

So when I feel unable to surrender, or unable to just let it all go, I remind myself that God’s faithfulness is great and He is ever-present to guide me through each struggle.  Letting go is the only true way I can open myself to His help and guidance.

So surrender all and feel his peace and see his faithfulness!

Lots of Love,
Super Momma Maggie

Hi. My name is Mrs. Rogers!

I have always dreamed of being a writer.  I feel excited by the idea of a person picking up a book I wrote and it changing their life.  Its not that I want to be noticed; it is that I want to change the world one published work at a time.  I want to spread the word of God and the love of Christ with every published work – be is through a whisper or a shout.

Then I get to thinking, what do I want to write?  What would I write about?  Who would my audience be?  Well all I know for sure is I want to be Mrs. Rogers.  In my opinion Mr. Rogers was the best children’s psychologist ever!  He talked about everything from death to divorce and how it made children feel and what to do with those feelings.  He changed children’s perspectives and their lives with his make believe world and his honest and loving advice.  I want to do that!  I want to talk to children and teenagers about their tough issues, how I handled those issues or how the Bible (even if I don’t cite it) would have us handle situations.  So what age group?  Well at first I thought teenagers but then I realized that I know nothing about the teenagers of today.  I have been out of high school for 11 years!! WOW!  What do I know about teen life?  But then I think, “Well there are some elements to being a teenager that are always the same.”  Certain issues are the same for every teenager it is just how they handle it that has changed.  For example, teen sex has been an issue for at least 30 years, or longer.  The problem has just become more progressive and aggressive.

Any way!  Then I thought maybe I could write for young children since I have two and I know more clearly what runs through their mind and how they live, act and perceive the world around them.  But writing for little kids like younger than 6 sounds boring to me.  “See the cat.  The cat ran! The dog is chasing the cat. The cat runs up a tree. Meow!” The end! haha While these books are goo and important for us to read to our young children, I’m not sure how to change the lives of such young readers. Now ages 6-11 I could see writing for.  I think I am going to start there.

So I am doing this correspondence course through a college to get better at writing.  I am excited but nervous so I am setting goals – short term, interim and long term goals.  My short term goal is to publish a book that is life-changing in one way or another for whatever audience (since I’m not sure who I will write for eventually).  My interim goal is to determine my subject matter – what life-changing experience will I write about – an research my subject to better understand how to write a publishable work.  The short term goal is to determine my age group and begin researching how they communicate, what matters to them and how I would write a publishable work for them.

There.  I have set goals! YAY!  Now I must go about completing my course work while working toward fulfilling my goals.  I am excited and eager to begin.  Please pray for me as I work on my goals and try hard to be that “Mrs. Rogers” who changes the world one bit at a time.

Lots of Love <3
Super Mom Maggie

I want more Faith in God.

I have often prayed something along the lines of “God make me have more faith in you and your plan for me.”  However, I realized today that praying for faith is like praying for patience.  How do you get patience? By experiencing things that are difficult and thereby forcing you to have patience with the situation.  I am certain many of you have experienced this one time or another.

Many of you know that I have been through a lot of trials lately.  I had a nervous breakdown in June and was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. (Yeah maybe I share too much… Oh well.)    Presten was out of work for nearly 6 months.  Then he found an awesome job!!  The pay was great, the atmosphere was serene and he felt confident.  I don’t know what happened – why the *ahem* woman fired him – but she did. Oh and about two weeks before Christmas, too. Such a nice woman. Grr…  (Forgiveness still pending.)  In addition to all that, my health has been a roller coaster.  One day I feel great and happy, the next I feel distraught and paranoid.  Yes, my friend who loves me, I AM on medication, and have a great doctor who manages my meds.  He says it is all “normal” for me.  Yeah, like me and normal are friends at all!!  Riiiight…

So anyway… Through all this I have prayed “God grant me faith in you.” and “God give me peace.”  But today I realized he is teaching me faith and granting me peace through experience.  See I believe that is how God works.  Everything is lesson.  Pray for patience – get TAUGHT patience.  Pray for peace, faith, love, joy… really almost anything and he teaches it to you through your experiences.  Perhaps some of you knew this already but it’s a revelation to me.

So is this a good thing?  Is this method mean, unkind or uncaring?  Why does He not just GIVE us these skills.  Why when we pray are we not surrounded by a sense of peace, or just given that patience we need??  Now I am not saying this never happens.  I mean there have been times I have prayed specifically for peace and God has just covered me with a blanket of peace.  There have also been times I have been prayerfully working on surrendering to Him and he grants me peace about my choice to relinquish my control.  There are moments for me when God just covers me with whatever I am requesting.  But for me (maybe not everyone) those are just moments.  Then the moment passes and the feeling fades and I am left with whatever I already had within myself.

But when I am taught a trait (patience, peace, faith, love, joy… any fruit of the spirit) that lesson sticks with me.  And no this is not like a school lesson from elementary school.  One that fades with time.  No.  This is eternal.  Once my level of patience reaches a level through experience it stays there forever, or increases but never diminishes.

So back to the questions then…  Why does God do it this way? See previous paragraph.  Because it sticks with us.

Why doesn’t God just give us these traits?  Because I think its not the same.  What do I mean… well how interesting that I happen to be listening to the song “Stronger” by Mandisa.  The message of this song is that hardships will make you stronger.  How true this is.  When we come out the other side of a struggle we are stronger.  However if we were given these traits perhaps we wouldn’t be as strong as when we earn them.  Now I do know that some of us are created with certain gifts.  Some of us can love anyone where they are at and do not struggle with this.  Some people have an amazing enduring patience with everything.  Some people are just peaceful about life – living without worry or anxiety.  I personally have the gift of compassion and encouragement.  I love to encourage others. I’ll stop at that or I will sound like I am bragging or something… We each have gifts but there are some things we don’t have.

So one might bring up the story in the Bible of the men with the talents (which was a sum of money). [This is in Matthew 25:14-30] At the end it says that those who take care of what they have will be given more and those who do not will have theirs taken away.  The talents were given to them without merit (or lesson).  This is talking about money and not the same at all.

Lets look at one of my favorite verses about hardships.

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

³ Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. ⁵ For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. ⁶ If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. ⁷ And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

So the word “comfort” is used in there A LOT!  But the gist of it is that we go through trials so that we can be comforted and then later comfort others.  So our struggles, hardships and trials are not just for us – not just to teach us some lesson – but also for others in the future.  Have you ever been able to say “yeah I’ve been there”?  What is more is have the words “I’ve been there” ever comforted you?

When I lived in Oregon my daughter Wren was struggling with temper tantrums.  She would hit, kick, throw things, yell and scream and just be a terror. I had no clue what to do.  What I really felt I needed was for someone to say, “honey I have been there and this will pass. It will be okay.”  What happened when I shared it with most people, asking for prayers, was they laughed at me and said, “yeah she will get over it”.  It was mainly the laughing that hurt.  Wrens full name is Serenity Elizabeth Joy, however she was in no means serene or joyful during that time of her life so I am guessing that is why they laughed at me. Any way… There was one woman – Nona Skinner – who smiled at me, hugged me and said “honey, I have been there!”  She proceeded to tell me the story of one of her children who was as difficult as mine. She said, “This too will pass.  She will get better.” and then gave me advice of how to deal with her.  Every time I saw Nona she would hug me and remind me that it will get better.  She became such a comfort in my life.  Why?  Because she had been there, survived and had love and comfort to give.

SO in conclusion:  God often teaches us traits (such as the fruits of the spirit) through trials and situations that give us experience.  Why do I personally believe he does this?  To make us stronger and so that we can feel his love and comfort and generously give out his love and comfort to others as we see need.  This method of teaching rather than gifting is a good method because it sticks with us eternally, with increasing knowledge.

So if you are struggling in one way or another know that it will get better.  You will come out on the other side stronger and some day you will be able to comfort others because of your experience. Experience makes us stronger and wiser.  Oh and praying for wisdom is the same as praying for patience, too! haha… I could tell you stories about that, too.

Hope this wasn’t too long.  Thanks for the read.

Lots of Love
Super Mama Maggie

If you are a first time reader please read my bio so you will know why I am so very super.

Celebrating Recovery

I have recently come across an interesting thing called “Celebrate Recovery”.  For those of you who attend a church, you might have something similar.  It is a group of people working through their addictions and downfalls.  Every kind of addiction; from drugs and alcohol to food and co-dependency.  At first I felt awkward and shy.  (Yeah, *I* wash shy!)  I was nervous.  This was a group of people I had never encountered before.  I admit that at first, for a moment, Satan told me I was better than these people and we discussed it.  “You are so much better than these people” he whispered “You have never done drugs or been a drunkard.”  Then I reminded him and myself that all sins are the same.  I shooed him off my shoulder and went on my way listening to the presentation.  After singing hymns, talking about their step process and showing a testimony on the big screen, they had group time. 

This is truly what made me want to come back.  I heard stories from these lovely ladies.  Stories about their drug addictions, alcohol addictions and even food addictions.  I felt humbled and nervous.  I felt silly sitting there with my “minor struggles” with sleeping too much, depression and my addiction to food and especially sweets.  Again Satan and I had the same conversation but again I shooed him away knowing he was so very wrong.

Are all sins the same?  Humans most certainly don’t act like it.  Many people, unfortunately, accept some sins while turning their noses up at others or, worse, persecuting others for their struggles.  Does God not say that we ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God? (Romans 3:23-24)

²² This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

“There is no difference”, it says.  So why have humans learned to accept gluttony, smoking, and even “minor” alcoholism but persecute those who struggle other things.  I submit that perhaps the “other sins” are considered not only private – such as pornography – but also more negative.  Some people, I think, believe these sins are more harmful to the sinner as well as those around them.  But lets look at one of my struggles – obesity.  Those of you who have seen me recently might laugh or chuckle or whatever because with all those clothes on I don’t look obese.  But I do struggle with over eating and have been 220 lbs. at my largest, which is obese for my height and age.

Any way… I digress… how does obesity harm me?  Well being obese, according to reliable studies, causes heart disease, arthritis, and a shorter life, among many other things.  So it is very harmful to my body to over eat to the point of obesity.

How does my gluttony and obesity harm those around me? Well when I eat unhealthy I feel tired, so I sleep more and neglect my daily duties like doing the laundry, the dishes and keeping a clean house; which hardly teaches my children to keep their things clean.  When I become obese or overweight I cannot perform as well as a mom.  I don’t play actively with my kids.  They want to play outside but I don’t “feel” like it because I truly feel ill.

So a “simple” sin like gluttony, which is easily and openly accepted in church groups (notice POT LUCKS) does harm not only the sinner but also those who love them.

Now let me distinguish here since I thought of it.  I don’t believe it is being obese that is the sin.  Some people struggle with losing weight or gaining weight and I understand that.  The sin is gluttony – over eating and eating unhealthy foods, knowing that is it making you obese and unhealthy.  When we know something is bad for us we should not do it.  On the contrary, when we know something is good for us we should do it.

What is my point?  I love Celebrate recovery because they allow you to share openly and honestly about your addictions without judgment or gossip.  This is how I believe we as Christians should be.  The Bible is very clear about this issue – sharing our sins without judgment, gossip or persecution. Note James 2:12-13

¹² Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, ¹³ because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment!

And

Ephesians 4:2
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

There are many other verses I could site here but I will just leave you with this: have more patience and love toward one another and recognize that your struggles are not any better or worse than your friends, co-workers, loved ones and even strangers.  We are all equal in the eyes of God.  The only difference between you and someone else is possibly salvation, which is meant to be shared!  So start lovin and start sharin!

Loads of love to y’all.  I’ve missed blogging.  My wordpress connection with facebook was screwed up but YAY I fixed it this morning.  Praise God!!

So look forward to more of my ranting, raving and loving y’all!

*LOVE and HUGS*

Super Mom

If you are new please read my bio.  I am super because Christ makes me more than I am.  I do not proclaim to be super on my own.  Thanks!

Life Style Changes to Create Long-term Health

Breakfast
Many have heard that Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and this is true.  Not only does it jump start my metabolism, but it also sets the stage for healthy blood sugar levels all day – as long as sugary breakfast foods are avoided of course!

Exercise Regularly
There are two forms of exercise.  Generally people think of the first form: scheduled work out sessions on a regular basis (either anaerobic or aerobic exercise).  While it is important to work up to frequently scheduled workout sessions, there is another important form of exercise: Non-Exercise Activity Thermogenesis or NEAT.  NEAT is made up of all the movements your body makes outside of planned exercise.  This is movements such as walking, talking, toe tapping, guitar playing, dancing, singing, shopping, gum chewing, fidgeting and pretty much any movement not specifically intended to improve fitness.  One way to add exercise to our lives without jumping into the gym is by increasing our NEAT points. 
There are many easy ways to do this.

• Have an elevator you frequent?  Try taking the stairs instead, at least for floor or two.
• Usually look for the perfect parking spot right near the front door?  Park farther away from the entrance and work towards parking “way out there”.
• Do you have a seated job? Perhaps stand up occasionally to work, or pace your work space while you work.  A good headset can enable you to move while you talk on the phone.
• Think of some other ways you could improve your daily movement and prevent your day from being most sedentary.  A lack of movement is a perfect environment for obesity!

Consider if you have weight to lose and work specifically on weight loss before beginning a rigorous exercise plan.

Support
Research shows that people who begin a weight loss plan without support are more likely to either quit their weight loss program or regain the weight quickly.  Have you ever tried to start walking consistently and found yourself forgetting or lacking motivation?  Perhaps you then asked a friend to be your walking partner, asking them to remind and encourage you to walk and you would do the same for them. It is likely you then found it much easier to walk consistently.  This is precisely what I am referring to.  Without support it is difficult for most people to stick with a weight loss plan and even more importantly avoid regaining weight.  It is vital to have friends and family who actively support your health goals.  If you find yourself frustrated by a particular friend or family member who is unsupportive, address the issue with them and explain your plan and purpose for your health changes.  Most of the time our friends and family love us and just want what is best for us and discussing it will solve the support issue.

Find at least one partner who you tag as your support buddy and fully explain your intentions, reasons and plans with them and ask them to hold you accountable.  Knowing that someone is going to ask, “are you making wise choices” can make a big difference in the choices you make.

Low-fat snacks every three hours
It is common for Americans to eat three large meals a day, likely far apart from each other and filled with over-sized portions and unhealthy foods.  I found that, before my health changes, not only was I overeating but I was also making very poor choices on a regular basis.  So overeating unhealthy foods!

Change not only what you eat, but also how much and how often.  Research shows that eating several smaller “meals” a day is much healthier.  Make certain these meals include healthy choices such as carrot sticks, celery, or yogurt.  I have many healthy snack ideas if you are interested.

It is best to eat 2 1/2 to three hours apart.  This sounds like a lot but consider that most of these “meals” are more like snacks rather than a huge meal you cook.  It is still important to consume three larger meals a day but not the traditional definition of large.

Individual Plan
It is important to formulate your health goals around your activities and life-style.  Get a notebook and every evening jot down what you did that day.  Do this every day for at least a week and then look back at where you had dead spaces – gaps of time you were doing little or nothing – or wasted time, time where you did something that could be replaced with something more constructive.  A “soccer mom” for example who is very busy would use this to determine when she can fit in an exercise plan.

Take the same or a different note book and keep track of every morsel of food you put in your mouth for at least a week.  Some people are heavy snackers.  A cookie here and a handful of chips there adds up to a heaping dose of bad calories and eventually an unhealthy, overweight body.  Keeping a food journal will help you determine the poor health habits you need to eliminate.

Monitor
It is essential to monitor  your weight and health to insure you are on a path to long-term health.  Without looking at the signs on the road how can you be certain you are still going the correct direction?

Set up a regular schedule for weighing a measuring your body.  Women tend to fluctuate more in inches rather than pounds and it is important to keep track of that fluctuation.

A good pair of “skinny jeans” is a great way to tell if you are gaining or losing weight.  Notice how tight or loose your clothes are.  If you find your clothes getting too tight perhaps you need to check the other areas I’ve mentioned to determine why your clothes are tight, rather than replacing your clothes!

In Conclusion
It is extremely important to live a life conscious of my health.  Ignore it and it will go away!  Changing things in these areas is certain to improve your health!

All information taken from Dr. A’s Habits of Health by Dr. Wayne Andersen

My Life is Like a Snow Globe

From the outside, a snow globe is pretty with lovely houses, or smiling figures inside, filled with beautiful snow or sparkles.  We grab a snow globe and what do we want to do with it? Shake it, of course!

Lately my life has felt a little shook up.  I feel like I am living in a snow globe that has been turned upside down in slow motion.  Our life has been one small trial after another, then the large difficulty of losing Presten’s father to the hands of God at the early age of 60.  It was as if our lives slowly turned up-side-down then crashed on the floor and rolled around a bit.  We aren’t quite sure where it will stop and stay!

If anyone ever told you life is easy they were wrong!

Life is never easy – neither for the sinner nor the redeemed but PRAISE GOD the life of a Christian is a life unburdened.  Nope, its still not easy! However when trials come our way – as they most definitely will – we have the luxury of asking someone else to carry those burdens for us.  The difficulty lies in letting those burdens go and shaking off the feelings the trials cause.  Feeling and extending Forgiveness, feeling unashamed, guilt-free and even confident in our forgiveness is something that can be very difficult to do.

Praise God that He is a patient and loving Father.  He never gives up on us, even when we play tug-of-war with our burdens.  “Take them God!” and we throw them at Him, only to pull them back and carry them around for a while.

So here I stand, again saying “Take it God!”, hoping that I will have the strength to fully let things go and trust Him.  I pray and pray and pray some more, “God lead us and bear our burden.”

Nothing is more important than having Faith in God.  Without faith, our baptism and possible salvation are nothing.  How can you be saved by someone you don’t believe in?  Without faith our words of “Take it away!” mean nothing because we will only hold on to it, believing He wont really bear our burdens.  Without Faith all prayers are empty words spoken to the walls. How can our prayers move our hearts let alone a mountain without faith?

Have faith.  Take heart.  Trust that God is listening, He is working and He really does know what He is doing. (This is a bit of self-reassurance of course!)

At times like this I remind myself that God is not just a friend but He is our Father.  Sometimes I do things my kids do not like.  I say “no” to requests for ice cream before bed time or another stuffed toy they don’t need from the store.  I don’t give them everything they want.  I discipline them when they deliberately do things wrong and I teach them when they make a mistake.  I continually guide my children down the path of life, never letting up on what I believe is best for them.  God is no different.  If you read the Bible there are many verses that describe God as our Father.

So I am going to trust my Father do take good care of me and direct me in the right path.

Hope your day is blessed!

Super Mom