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So yesterday I felt a pull to eat everything in the house that might tempt me (like that ice cream in my freezer) and that included a mt dew at 8 p.m.  So I was up until 4:30 a.m.  Even so my loving husband woke me up early so I could start my plan (just as I had asked him to).  The day went somewhat well although I felt understandably tired.  We went grocery shopping this afternoon for a few last minute lean and green options.

I was really proud of myself that I walked through the store and only left with what was allowed — not a single bag of chips or sweet item (despite my serious addiction to sweets!).

So here is what I ate for my lean and green.  I thought I did pretty good but the log on this website said I was a bit low.  What do you think?

0.5 cup Raw Iceberg Lettuce
0.5 cup cheddar cheese (finely shredded)
1 tblsp Tomato Sauce
1 tblsp Salsa
6 sprays of wishbone italian spray
ONE MS Tomato Basil Pizza Pattie
1 tsp raw garlic
0.5 cup sliced raw mushrooms (I measured these before I cooked them then cooked them with the garlic. Did I do that right??)
0.5 cup  sliced raw grape tomatoes (I cut these in half and cooked them a little with the mushrooms and garlic.)

I mixed all the above up in a salad and it was awesome! Something I would totally eat even if I werent dieting.  The best part was that I could taste the salsa, dressing and tom sauce even though I didnt use much!  I was surprised at how great this tasted!  I only used one MS pattie so that I could also use cheese. I made certain I measured it right based on the amount of fat etc and shredded it finely.

I also had a pickle half, a Popsicle, and some chicken broth at some point during the day.

So I was very surprised that I  came out on the low end.  Should I measure my foods after I cook them?? How do I do that if I am only cooking for myself?  Then I might cook too much and want to eat that, too!

I am so glad this day is almost over.  It was tough and as I walked through the grocery store I got a taste of what a diabetic feels – desiring all those sugary foods and being unable to enjoy them!  BUT I DID IT!! Im so proud of myself. :D  God help me tomorrow!!


Scrambled Eggs: texture SUCKED but taste was good.  Texture might be improved if I change the way I prepared them.

Chili-cheese Nacho Puffs: LOVE THEM! I could eat them all the time!!

Strawberry Crunch Bar: Texture was OK but a bit powdery.  Taste was alright but not great.  I had to choke down the last few bites.  Wouldnt probably choose this bar but might re-try it later as taste buds change.  Left my mouth feeling dry and bad aftertaste.

Chicken Noodle Soup: Texture of the “meat” product was not good.  Overall taste was great especially once I added salt.  Noodles were tiny and unnoticeable.  Perhaps I would prefer the rice one?

Chocolate Pudding: actually really good.  I made it with extra water and blended it then placed it in the freezer for about 5 minutes.  It was cold and little frosted over.  I really enjoyed it. 🙂

Good night!


I wake up early in the morning and spring out of bed.  I feel energetic, alert and excited about starting my day.  As the day progresses, my energy stays constant as I run about and do my chores, take care of my kiddos and even get out in the fresh air and enjoy the day.  I am physically active: I take walks, go hiking, and even occasionally mountain climb and I FEEL GREAT while I do these things.  My emotional state is contented and when troubles arise I handle them with grace and peace, and when troubled I return to emotional contentedness quickly and easily.

My life is filled with fun, pleasure, sunshine, order and organization.  I look around and am pleased with my actions and achievements.  I feel GREAT!


Why do I want these things?

When I am a seasoned lady in my prime I want to feel this way.  I am nearly 27 and feel like some defecated mass on a regular basis.  I rarely have energy.  I feel miserable!  And if at 27 I feel this way, if such a life continues without positive change how will I feel when I am old? I bet I would wish I were dead!!  I do not wish to DREAD “old age”; instead I wish to embrace it and enjoy my passing time.  I want to LIVE in the moment instead of surviving it.  I am committed to change in my life and to making this change deep, personal, passionate and permanent.

Now, since that change has not yet begun, I need a nap!

Super Mom

Have you ever seen “A Bugs Life”?  Its a cute movie about mostly ants and their relationship with the mean grasshoppers.  There is a profound moment in the movie where Flick, an inventor and thinker in the movie, says to the little princess ant, Dot, “Do you see this rock?  Pretend its a seed, ok?  Well this seed contains everything that is needed to make a whole tree!”.  Of course then Dot, not really getting the point, replies with, “This rock will become a tree?  You’re weird!”  But this thought led me to a even better thought.  We are much like seeds.  If you think about it, a seed does not contain everything it needs to produce a plant.  While the seed does contain the information and potential for how to produce a plant, it needs other things to complete the process.  If you have taken an elementary science class you know that a seed generally needs light (usually from the Sun), air, and soil with the proper nutrients.  Some plants are more difficult than others and such plants cannot or will not grow without fertilizer.

So you see we are the seed.  When we are born we have plenty of potential.  There is potential for anything.  What is the difference between the baby who grows up to be a mass murdering rapist and the baby who grows up to be a police officer who proudly arrests such lawbreakers?  Is it there DNA?  Is it their parents? Siblings? Teachers?  Environment?  The food they eat?  Perhaps it is a combination of all these factors.  But, I believe, the truth is that each child possesses the equal potential for greatness or evil.  It is not that a baby contains evil DNA.  Perhaps some have proposed that who we become is in our DNA but I have yet to see such research.  But I believe that perhaps, in the end of it all, it comes down to a choice.  Maybe a particular rapist was molested when he was 8 and it messed him up in the head. But he still made a choice to turn to raping people to express his aggression or whatever feelings he has.  No one made him do it.  No one ever forces us to make a choice, not even God.  I do believe that God provides us with the truth and surrounds us with the proper nutrients and in the right moment gives us a choice, but he does not force us one way or the other, and neither does Satan.  Who we are is a choice. So only one question now remains. Do you like who you are?

I am:
among other good things…

But I also am:
impatient at times
very mean when I get angry
oblivious to others feelings when I talk sometimes
and have a serious problem with complaining
among other flaws…

No one is perfect and those who believe themselves to be are obviously imperfect.  Additionally, no one is at a point where change is impossible, though perhaps you know someone whom you would say that change is improbable.

If you want to be someone else
~’Sister Hazel’ the music band

I have so much on my mind tonight.  Presten took me on a date for “valentines day” (a bit early but it is when we could go).  We went to dinner at Macaroni Grill and then saw the movie “Avatar” (in 3D of course).  First of all, PRAISE GOD I can cook!! He has blessed me so soundly with the ability to cook that I rarely enjoy a meal out except for the fact that I didnt have to cook it.  The food wasnt as good as it would have been if I had made it, but hey I didnt cook it. :)  The movie, on the other hand, was AWESOME!  That may be the best movie I have ever seen.  The graphics were so well done that it looked so real.  The story line had a hole here or there, but not enough to make it unenjoyable.  The one thing I found frustrating (minor spoiler) is that at the beginning they explain what an avatar is: it is not the alien race, but the body that humans use to look like the aliens.  These bodies were “grown” from human and alien DNA – using the DNA from a specific human so that the individual could link to the avatar’s brain and use the body.  What did not make sense was that if they bodies were grown (similar to the way we are beginning to clone animals now) then how did they grow them without the body having its own consciousness??  That doesnt make any sense at all.  A cloned body would have its own mind and be its own being.  We dont really know if a cloned human would have a soul or how God would treat that individual but even putting that aside it just doesnt make sense scientifically.  But putting that aside I really did enjoy the movie.  It was basically war mongers verses tree huggers (or so they made it seem) but I would have definitely been on the tree hugger side.  I wont go into it more right now though just in case someone were to read this and be spoiled.  …though right now I dont have any readers. 😛

That movie really made me feel very empathic though.  I could imagine feeling the way the aliens felt, especially considering how amazing they were.  It made me think about how we each have a specific purpose in life.  I do believe in destiny very strongly except I believe that destiny is set by God, especially if you will (in the future) or have chosen to follow God.  But he does use those who dont believe for His purpose even if they will never love Him.

Consider this: we are meant to be clay in the hands of God, molded to be whatever shape He desires for us.  The He must have a shape in mind, right?  And if He does, then how can he make that shape without pain to us if we do not allow it?  I figure this life is not a test it is a choice.  Our whole lives boil down to one major choice: will you Love God and live your life with Him in mind and in heart or will you cast Him aside and do your own thing?  What purpose lies in following him?  Why should we spend our whole lives being a “living sacrifice”?  Consider the paralell to parenthood and the relationship a parent has to their child.  God is our Father, even if we do not accept Him.  By Him all things were created and for Him we all live, just as a baby is not born unless a woman chooses it and that baby will depend on a parent for many years.  As the child grows it looks to a parent for guidance – not just for simple things like food, water and shelter – but for deeper things like how to act and who to be.  If you throw a baby in the trash or in the wild how can they survive?  Take a 5 or 6 yr old and dump them in the wilderness and they may perhaps survive if they are smart enough.  Perhaps they could find food and shelter and yes the older they get the more self-sufficient they are.  But how do they know who to be or what to do?  They need a parent to give them that guidance or else they stumble along and feel lost.  We are not different as adults.  We may know how to find food and shelter for our bodies but only God can provide food and shelter for our souls.  And non-believer may find that stupid but have they ever felt fear, pain, sorrow, worthlessness, frustration, anger or any other negative emotion?  Only someone who has given their lives to God can understand how different it feels to have Him living inside you.  Yes you will still feel fear, pain, sorrow, frustration and anger but they are so different and much more short-lived.  I fully understood the greatness of God when Mary died.  I missed her dearly and I felt fear, pain, sorrow and a deep sense of loss but I also felt joy, gratitude, and a deeper sense of peace than can be imagined.  It was not only the fact that I know she rests with God in Heaven.  Even if she were not a Christian I could still see the hand of God working in her life and even in her death.  I know without a doubt in my mind that God exists because I feel Him working in my life and I see Him working in the lives of those around me.

I feel like I am rambling and maybe I am.  It just saddens me when people reject God and do not realize that it is themselves who suffer.  God does not need us.  God could have existed forever and ever without ever creating humans.  What purpose do we serve for Him?  What purpose does a child serve in the lives of an adult?  Will humanity go on if I choose not to conceive? OF course! Will I live a full, healthy life with meaning and purpose without children?  I can do that.  Then why have children?  Because they bring joy to your heart and light to a dark room.  I look at my children and I see a tree that extends well beyond my existence.  I feel a deep love I get from them because they want to love me.  And as they age and come to know who I am better they will further choose to love me for who I am inside instead of what I am (their mother).  That is why God made humans.  Angels follow God because if they do not then He puts them in Hell.  One could say the same for humans, I suppose, but he created them so they could choose to love Him for who He is, not soley out of fear of damnation.  I admit I was one of those teens who was saved because I feared Hell.  I know the barevity of life and didnt want to find myself at Hells gates.  However as I have matured I have learned to love God for who He is because now I know Him.  And He feels love for me and as I try my best to be clay in His hands he molds me into something beautiful instead of the ugly, twisted thing the wilds would have made me without Him. So I choose God because I know my life is easier when I lean on Him and allow Him to work through me and in me.

Okay Im done with apologetics.  The other thing Avatar made me feel was a deep sense of purpose.  The main character in the movie served a powerful purpose.  The movie – with all its “nature worship” (as it seemed to be) – made me want to buy a plot of land outside the city and sit in a field surrounded by nature.  I love this world that God made for us.  I feel it is such a gift.  Heaven is beautiful and I am certain that it will be amazing but we will be there forever.  We only have 120 years or less on this earth.  When weighed against eternity that is so brief and so very precious.  There will be no marriage, so assumingly no sex and thus no child bearing which is my whole life right now.  All I do is love my husband and raise my kids and make the occasional, yet meaningful, trip to a building to worship God with other believers.  I do worship God alone and have a prayer life etc, but my primary life – what I do for a living – are things that can only be done on earth – marriage, sex and raising children.  So I cherish this life so very much, every single day, knowing that when I die this is it for me.  Heaven holds something so very foreign and strange – beautiful and enjoyable as it may be it is not earth. So I am in no rush to get there.  Heaven can wait – or at least I pray it can. :)  I want to squeeze every drop of life out of every minute knowing that this is the only place to enjoy all this stuff.

What a great movie.  Go watch it.  At the very least the graphics were awesome. 🙂

❤ Super Mom
Feeling EXTRA super today!

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I share my life with the big wide world; my life as a mom, a wife and a Christian. I work to have original content that is deeper than you might expect but still enjoyable to read.

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