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Here I am again feeling like a failure as a mom because my house is a mess, my kids don’t brush their teeth as often as they should (sometimes not even once a day), they leave home with their hair in a tizzy looking like a ragamuffin, and working full time now I just cannot keep up with anything at home.  I am certain many of you can relate.  Sometimes I feel scared I am raising my kids wrong.  Not just because of those little things, but because of bigger things.  I look in the mirror too much – staring at my imperfections hoping they will just poof away some day.  I don’t want them having that horrible problem.  I want them to know they are beautiful without arrogance and feel beautiful inside and out.  But that means I must model it for them.  Oh some days I feel like a terrible model for my children!  But that is every mom, every dad, every person.  We all have our days where we just screw up and have to start over fresh the next day…  Am I a failure as a mom when I mess up?  Am I a failure because I just don’t do it all correctly every day?  Will my kids turn out okay despite my mistakes?

What defines a failure (as a person, mom or dad)?failure vs success3 ww

The English dictionary says failure is (emphasis added),

1.  an act or instance of failing or proving unsuccessful; lack of success (Hey I thought you couldn’t use the word to define the word!?)

2. nonperformance of something due, required, or expected

3. a subnormal quantity or quality; an insufficiency

4. deterioration or decay, especially of vigor, strength

I included them all because they all say something a little different but in reality they are all the same.  We expect something from ourselves and we fail ourselves; or that is what we sometimes believe: "I have failed".

But I agree with Thomas Edison:

failure vs success1

I believe that when we fail, it is only true failure if we give up – stop believing in yourself or your goal, to stop hoping, to just plain stop working toward your dreams.  The act of not getting back up once we have fallen is to fail.  When we get up, brush ourselves off and keep pushing on that is the movement toward success.

So what, then is success?

Success is defined as:

1.  the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one’s goals.

2.  a performance or achievement that is marked by success, as by the attainment of honors (again using the word to define the word!)

3.  a person or thing that has had success, as measured by attainment of goals, wealth, etc.

They all say similar things – the achievement or accomplishment of one’s goals.  So in my case success would be achieving my goals as a parent.  This, however, requires that I have goals.  I do not believe that success as a parent is to raise a perfect, well-balanced adult.  There are so many factors that go into raising a child, to a teenager, to a young adult, to an adult.  The older they get the more others have influence over them.  Therefore I have landmark goals.  I desire for my children to grow up to become Christian adults who devote themselves to God the Father in Heaven and follow the Holy Bible as it is written.  This requires I model what a Christian adult is, as well as teach them now while they are young about the scriptures, as well as other similar tasks.  Another goal I have for my children is that they love themselves.  Not in some narcissistic way, or with arrogance; but rather in a true loving way where they both recognize their faults and appreciate their beauty and goodness.  This is important to me because I struggle with this myself.  I love myself but I have my days where I don’t like myself at all.  I can be very derogatory toward myself.  But I work hard to be positive around the kids and to help them see that Mommy does love herself, even if she has bad days.

sumofexperience

So as they grow they will change to be some adult I did not make them into.  They will become individuals somewhere along the way – each day becoming more and more like who they are meant to be.  My adult child making poor choices does not define me.  An adult has the ability to choose their own path.  So once they “leave the nest” our job changes; it is up to them to fail or succeed.  I am not there yet but I asked my Mom what she considered her job to be now that I am an adult. She said:

To be available for communication, be supportive, encourage, lift up when my child is down, to provide emotional support.  And when things get tough, maybe my child even does something “bad,” the job goes on to be the same and to express extreme love to your child, despite the situation.

In the end, my hope for my children is that when they are all grown up, they will look back and see that the mistakes I made were just that – mistakes.  Not some vendetta to ruin their lives.  And that they will eventually become well-rounded, balanced adults.  Who knows?  Maybe one of my kids will do something that changes the world.  But just existing and doing anything changes the world around them because everything would be different if one person was missing.

Let me leave you with this:

failure vs success2

Keep pressing on.

Super Mama Maggie

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“Hey let’s get together soon!”
”Yeah, let’s do that.  I will find some time this week.”

I will clean the house when I find some time.  I will ___ (fill in the blank) when I find some time.

Ever had some sort of situation like that.  Is finding time is much like weight loss?  We hope to lose weight.  We try to lose weight but really without a plan we will never lose much weight. Finding time, like weight loss, doesn’t happen by accident.

There is no such thing is finding time.

find-time-make-time

Hope I didn’t burst your bubble.  Mine was burst this morning when a dear friend in Christ passed away.  I had spent the past four weeks trying to “find time” to go visit her.  She was on hospice, which of course means she didn’t have much time left.  How could I not MAKE TIME for such a dear woman?  Now she is gone and I wont see her until I am gone. I feel sad and frustrated with myself about this. Sad smile

We must make time for what really matters to us.  What if that had been my grandmother?  I am always trying to find time to call or write her. She doesn’t email much so I have to write her real letters to get to her; so of course I have to find time to do that.  What is wrong with me that I cannot grasp the concept of making time for these important things?

maketime2

Wouldn’t it be nice if it was that easy?

I wont blame anyone else for my issue.  I look for time all over the place but never find “extra time.”  Time is like money, when you have more it is rarely “extra.”  So I will stop right now.  When a friend says “let’s get together,” I will say “when?” instead of “soon” or the terribly untrue phrase about finding time.  When something comes up that matters to me I will stop putting it off and make time for it – put it on my calendar right then.

…Of course this means I have to use my calendar.

Do you have this problem?  Will you commit to stop trying to find extra time that rarely comes around and just start making time for what really matters to you?

recycletime

So lets get to it!  Start making time for what matters!

 

Ephesians 5:15-17

15 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because these days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

~Supera Matris

 

I apologize.  I had planned to post daily.  However there is enough drama in my life I cannot even watch drama shows because my life is full enough without them!  I want a comedy to help me laugh at someone elses silliness as I know I may look back and be able to smile at my drama now.

However, at least temporarily, too much is going on to give you the amazing-ness I had planned for and prayed about.  Please pray, if you are one who prays to the God of Heaven, to help me as I deal with the hand God has dealt me, so to speak.  I believe God is at work I just struggle with fearing the work of Satan.

Here is an AWESOME song that is helping me get through all this and not give way to the fears of what could be.

“Overcomer”

Staring at a stop sign
Watching people drive by
T Mac on the radio
Got so much on your mind
Nothing’s really going right
Looking for a ray of hope

Whatever it is you may be going through
I know He’s not gonna let it get the best of you

You’re an overcomer
Stay in the fight ‘til the final round
You’re not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it’s hopeless
That’s when He reminds You
That you’re an overcomer
You’re an overcomer

Everybody’s been down
Hit the bottom, hit the ground
Oh, you’re not alone
Just take a breath, don’t forget
Hang on to His promises
He wants You to know

The same Man, the Great I am
The one who overcame death
Is living inside of You
So just hold tight, fix your eyes
On the one who holds your life
There’s nothing He can’t do
He’s telling You

You’re an overcomer
Stay in the fight ‘til the final round
You’re not going under
‘Cause God is holding you right now
You might be down for a moment
Feeling like it’s hopeless
That’s when He reminds You
That you’re an overcomer
You’re an overcomer

God bless you in any drama you may be feeling yourself.

Super Mama Maggie

peacock

Don’t worry.  I’m not that pea-cocky.  LOL!! 😀

Okay so I was going to start on October first.  I am going to call this the first of October since I am up at 2 am and cannot sleep. 😛

I am starting a blog series called “re-defined.”  It is based on a “blog daily for 31 days of November” — in honor of the month of November being National Novel Writing Month.  I know this isn’t November but I wanted to do it in October since October usually stinks for me.

So this is my first blog.  It is considered for the first of October.  I will hopefully post again today to count for the second of October.

Please check back often!  I am at my parents so who knows how often I will get to blog but my GOAL is the blog DAILY except for weekends.  I will not blog on Saturday and Sunday — resting days. 😉

What does re-defined mean?  Well we all probably know what that word means in life but here is what it means in relation to this current blogging theme:  I am going to look at words in a completely new way!  Words I am considering are as follows: perfect, faith, Love, hypocrite and many more.  Please leave comments on my blog or on Facebook if there is a word you want me to look at “re-defining.”  I may not take all suggestions and blog about them but I will consider them. 🙂

einstein

I’m no Einstein but this should be good. 😉

Thank you for reading and God bless you and yours!! 😀

~Super Mama Maggie

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I share my life with the big wide world; my life as a mom, a wife and a Christian. I work to have original content that is deeper than you might expect but still enjoyable to read.

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